Wednesday, 3 November 2010

When I Am An Old Woman


When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickles for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.


  1. I'm busy, ...practising! ;o)

  2. Something to look forward to then. :) oh and I already have two purple tops. Better start saving for the hat :)

  3. Make sure it's a very striking ill-fitting red hat Pippa :)

    I've been wearing my purple coat for far too many years now and love it. I'm never too far away from bright purple and pink. Am we kidding ourselves that we are 'stylish', or is it a sign of 'being old'?

    I may have to start matching mine with lots of yellow and orange too.

    Maybe we should have a Jenny Joseph day once in a while and get some proper practice in? Any tips for spitting?

  4. There's still a UK law against spitting...we'd be fined £11

  5. ha ha ha ha ha ....have just thrown my head back laughing.....shall we have £22's worth??