Hearts Together

This photograph makes my heart ache inside, but smile with thankfulness from somewhere deep within.

Five months ago my gorgeous husband, at the very young age of 41 suffered a brain stem stroke.

The day before, we had celebrated his birthday at home with a party for family and friends. 

The suddenness of his awful condition was devastating to us all. He suffered from paralysis on his left hand side, affecting both his movement and his speech. 

In the hospital the amazing medical team were very open and frank. His condition was very serious, and after a further incident noted to have occurred on his brain while in the hospital a day later, the wonderful doctor took me aside and cried as she told me that the next 48 hours were critical.  

Our beautiful children were at his bedside when I noticed that his condition appeared to be worsening.  

The completely wonderful consultant, upon further investigation, confirmed that he had suffered another trauma. She suggested that I stay at the hospital to be with him. My mum was also invited to stay with us that night for my own support. We were moved to the room opposite the nurses station where a chair beside his bed became my base. 

This photograph was taken at on 24th May 2011 at 5am, following a very long and emotional night. As my lovely man had slept, I kept guard over him - waiting to fight whatever it was that was threatening to take him away from me. My mum and I cried and shared. We willed him with all our might to keep fighting, to beat this sorrowful experience. 

At 5am he finally opened his eyes to the day and for a moment we were able to share again the love that flowed between us. It is a moment I will remember forever and ever. So painful, yet so honest. Those few minutes were full of everything that had ever been between us, and whatever was still to come in our future.....

This picture gives me hope, for always

The Uses of Sorrow

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. 


It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift. 


- Mary Oliver, "The Uses of Sorrow"

Wishing Moon

What a difficult time we've had lately. 

So much has happened and we are all still spinning a little from the experiences.

A little friend of mine has been gently prompting me to come back to my 99 Dreams and Wishes and find the magic and inspiration within again. 

So, dipping my toes back in I am reminded of my list and the excitement and thrill it brings.

Yesterday was a Full Wishing Moon. We wrote wishes for ourselves, each other, and our friends and hung them on our Wishing Tree. The children whispered some of their more private wishes into the ear of our magical stone pixie. 

The moon hung behind the clouds for most of the evening, and although it was very wet and raining when we hung our wishes, the photos seem to show a beautiful sunny afternoon. 

It must be a sign.

Who's the fairest of them all?

I am a beautiful and unique being. I have a wonderful smile

Today I am grateful for my body and the way it can move so gracefully with power and strength - thanks Nia and friends

I am grateful for the presence and communication of friends

I am grateful for the sweet voices of my children who have been singing to me for hours

When I Am An Old Woman

WARNING

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickles for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

by Jenny Joseph

Blessed are those

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted
Matthew 5:4


Beautiful memories, Silently kept, of a baby we loved, And will never forget

Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice

If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,

Or even pause to wonder

If the petals fall too soon.

But every life that ever forms,

Or ever comes to be,

Touches the world in some small way

For all eternity.

The little one we long for

Was swiftly here and gone.

But the love that was then planted

Is a light that still shines on.

And though our arms are empty,

Our hearts know what to do.

Every beating of our hearts

Says that we love you.

Author Unknown

If    the    eyes    had    no tears   ,tthehe soulsoul would     have     no     rainbow.
Native American Proverb

In memory of our tiny Sara Snowflake x

Dreams and Wishes Visual Inspiration

I created a beautiful visual board to remind myself at a glance of all the promises I have made to myself.

Why not have a go at making one for yourself at wordle ....